You , me , ke laut .

You , me , we , no talking . 

You , me , we , lost in the sea . 

You , me , we , nobody , stranger . 

You , me , no us , awkwardness . 

It has been a while , no no not a while , a year or so .  So when we was the last time you made me smile ? Back then earlier 2010 when my smile for you is for real . Towards the end of 2010 , it wasnt even a smile . I made it up so you won't feel bad , though you don't feel a thang . I really miss who I thought you were . 

The guy who made me smile without fail , the guy who made me laugh out loud , the guy who made me lost all the words , the guy who would made me say not a word but just smile in the car while you were driving , the guy who were nice to my friends , the guy who fit in with my friends in a blink , the guy who went to the party and party as if its his friend's party , the guy who made me sing my heart out , the guy who never say NO to anything i said , the guy who will sing on my birthday , the guy who made me wants to online every single night , the guy who text me just before he sleep , the guy who crave for McD in the middle of the night , the guy who thought of me when he wants for McD , the guy who once said "Thankyou for having faith in him, Thankyou for everything, Thankyou for staying when everybody leaves, Thankyou for being so honest".

I miss the guy who means the world to me before he left for 

something big in his life . 

I really miss you that I cant stop myself from dreaming about you . 

There's this one night , where I dreamt about the both you , you and chewing gum . But , the main character of the dream was you . You were at my school , for this IU day , like we used to go . There's an explorace , erm more like the confusing garden maze . And we were too busy talking that all of our friends had left us behind . But you told me not to worry , well I wasnt convinced at first , I dont know what charm did you used , but you managed to convince me . I enjoy walking and talking , and its 9pm something . We walked hand in hand , talked about almost everything . Never get tired of listening to you or walking . And like always , our dream will never end the way we want it , the more we want to dream , the shorter the dream will be . I think about an hour after dreaming , mom woke me up . *spoilllll*

And last night dream's , I cant remember it now , but what I know , you held my hand  Hug me tightly to you , and I woke up singing Demi Cinta - Kerispatih with few drops of unpleasant tears . Adoi .

I miss you , I really do . Though I know I'll never get the old you back . 

money could do the all the trick

If money is like the air I breathe . I'd like to be deadly suffocated .  

If money is like the amount of hair . I like my hair best . 

If money is like the amount of calories and fats I consumed . I'd love to be as fat as I am now . 

If only whatever I wish for is not just a wish . Some people are hard different , some are the same , some are in between the two . And I am in the three of it. I'd like to be rich , not famous , kind , pretty in and out , and have what every girl would die for . I am okayy when I'm in my duper positive state , but I could sometime be upset with what I have . Not being too ungrateful . But wishing I would have everything that I want . I mean , thing . Not everything in a sense that I want to have people that I want . Sometimes  I think it's easier to be a guy , because guys never cares about what he has . 

Well , I care for the bags I carry , shoes I wear , clothes I put on , accesories I choose and more physical stuff . It is a big deal to me . I dont mind spending on expensive item , but I can only do it sometime . I don't earn a cent , yet . I wish I don't have to . I wish my parents could just pass it on me . Flash me a credit card with unbelievable limit .

                                   

How does it feel to carry a Damier Ebene Canvas or maybe Birkin ? I would die to have them , no I wouldnt . My life is more precious than few 'k' to a number . But I still want at least a Vertu . Please mom . Oh forget it . Every penny you spend is a penny that you would appreciate as you earn it yourself . Every Damier Ebene Canvas you carry worth more than a fortune if you use the money you earn . 

So at the end of the day , I find that , I dont really have to be a Raja , Tengku or Dato' or even Tan Sri's daughter to have a classic Birkin , vintage Chanel , Damier Ebene Canvas Lv . I could still be me , myself and have them . And they are the ones who should be grateful to have me as their master hehe *evil grin* All I need to do is study hard , work hard , earn hard . I dont want to say that it's very "duniawi" as it satisfy me a lot . I would say that , it's a reward I should give myself if I manage to earn lots of cash . But before getting myself one of those , I'd like to give my mom a reward she deserve to get . 1st reward is my over-booming/succesful career and goodjob . 2nd reward is to be able to provide her with my stable financial . 3rd  reward her favourite handbag , you name it mom . Imma get you your Fendi the real one ofcourse . 4th cute and loving grandkids . 5th lead a happy life . All five as a token of appreciation . 

I should stop wishing what I wasnt born to have or to be . I know I should learn to suck it all in , and try to be what I wasnt born to be . I can always change my destiny with a little help from god . 

kolea *pelat*

Sangat like video ini , sebab ada Taecyeon <3

Comel kan kan ?

He is actually from 2pm

Rasa nak pengsan suka kan Taecyeon ni :)

Mari menjahit

Accessories:
How To Make An Inexpensive Ribbon Headband

You can be pretty and different with a little creativity . Who is up for sewing thing ? Count me in . It wasnt one of my interest for sure . But since I find that simple things cost so much , its better for me to do it myself if I could . I always wanted to make myself a sequinned headband , but I got no time and suddenly it all seems so hard when I've already bought all the items . 

After I watched this video , I felt super duper xtra semangat to sew . Cant wait for tomorrow . I got no class tmorrow since Pn.Uzaimah had change our psychology class . It is now on Monday . Right after my Pendidikan Islam class . 

And yeah , I'm excited :) 

Impian malam ini

Well the photo is a little kurang ajar , but thats what I want for tonight , I mean not only to be skinny tonight , I want to be skinny on any other day . Everyday . I need to get back my shape . Im super desperate but Im not gonna do anything stupid , trust me . Im gonna start jogging AGAIN , even if I have to go on my own , alone I mean . If my sister is freaking busy , thats her problem . All I know now is my need to be skinny . 

Im not doing this for anybody , Im not doing this to get boyfriends and BE available . Im not doing this to look hot . Im not doing this to be sexy . 

Im doing this for myself . Im doing this for my health . Im doing this to boost my confidence . Im doing this to look good . Im doing this to feel good . Im doing this so that I could wear whatever I want *most prolly decent clothes* . Im doing this to get fit . Im doing this to be energetic and active . Im doing this so that I would have the chance to be the person I want to be . Im doing this to get what I've been dreaming of .

Please please dont let anything come my way , I need to cut a lot of kilos . Like seriously . I want to be like this once again . 

Please let me have that bods again T_T 

Goodnight :) 

lemme spell it for yah

H A P P Y

Do I really have to be skinny to be happy ? Dont fat girls deserve to be happy too ? Do I made wrong choices again ? Havent I learnt from the past ? Why cant I be happy ? Why must I go through this again and again ? Why cant I just move on and ignore it ? Why , why why ? 

Tidur tidur

Tidur lah SHERIZA KAMAL . 


Kau nak kena marah dengan mak 


ke tidur lambat ? Hahh ? 


Tidur lambat nanti mimpi FK pun lambat . 


Semakin cepat tidur , semakin cepat mimpi 


Farid Kamil. Okayy , tiba tiba macam buat hypothesis dalam science . So outof topic . 


Nway , cepat lah off lappie tu , panas sangat dah , 


dah dekat 24 jam menyala . Dah nak hangus dah . 

Ok fine , aku off . Bye bye <3 

Dream dream dream

* The Everly Brothers - All I Have To Do is Dream *

Nak kata aku terfikir sangat , tak lah . Nak kata rindu sangat , agak lah . Nak kata benci , entah lah .
Tapi dah entah kenapa termimpi kan dia dan rakan rakan dia . Okayy mimpi dia dan rakan dia tu takpe lagi . Still normal . Yang abnormal nya ialah dia sleepover rumah aku dan bapak aku bagi . Bapak aku tak marah . As if my dad's brain had just been washed . Dont he remembered what had happened to us ?

Entah lah . Sometimes I can feel that maybe its our destiny to be together . Maybe not now , some other day . When we both have a job , and everythng is 99% complete . Maybe by having each other would complete our life . I dont know if i want to live with people like him . But who the hell knows about it , Only God knows . We , human being can never predict/know .

I know its too soon to think about my another half . But , no matter how bad we hate each other , or turn our head around , we'll get back together , soberly . LOL .

I liked him , but I find that he's still living his old life and attitude . Maybe he'll change once he gets older . Hopefully . But , I dont hope to stay with him for the rest of my life . Hopefully I'll meet someone new . Someone better . Someone who could change me , let me be me , but better me .

May all my prayers come true . May god bless me . May I live a good life today , tomorrow , toyears .

Amin :) 

mahu update ?

Nak update blog , tetapi macam dah kena tidur . 

Nanti mak marah , *takut* *konon* 

Agenda esok pagi ;

1 . Berkerja sebagai hamba pengutip air kumbahan *smells nothing. trust me*

2. Hantar Shinot ke office 

3. Berjogging , maybe . Kalau tak sleepy sangat pagi esok. *terasa sangat ingin berlari. jauh jauh . walau akan kepenatan tahap chimps . but Im desperately need to kurus like those days . I need to , I have to , at least cut off 10kilos if possible . Before christmas :D hehehe * 

Bbq

Moon is having a barbecue party tonight . At her place . Im not sure if I was invited . But well she told me few weeks ago that she's doing it . Was supposed to do it last week when I came back . But since Namie had her runway thing , so it wasnt held last weekend .

And I went back to Shah Alam already on Sunday . Well , I dont care much about eating it , but all I want is to have fun with the girls . Im starting to sound so pathetic.

I miss em much , but do they ? Hurm I dont know . I just dont want to think much . New Semester is up , and I really want to focus and get on the Dean's List again , so I would get a scholarship while doing my degree later on . So , I gotta clear up my mind. I dont want to be in misery anymore . Im tired of it , and life's game . Im not up for it anymore . I just want to live in peace and harmony and only think of myself and my study and to succeed and to be who I want to be .