Hi Hello . I'm back , after quite a long time. I haven't been blogging for quite some time because I'm running out of words and topics. My life eversince I stopped blogging didnt go well. I wasn't as happy as I used to be, I think thats crystal clear and I cant put concealer to it.
I have stopped wearing my nicest clothes, putting on make up, or even wear shoes to class. I don't know what makes me feel ugly inside. So ugly even clothes and make up couldn't do the trick.
I must say that semester 4 is the toughest semester ever. I spent many sleepless thinking about alot of things. I didn't miss any class so far, but I didnt even give 100% concentration either. In semester 4, I also learnt that it's very important to pick the right team mates and friends. I'm not saying that I picked a lousy team mates , no . Theyre awesome and fine, but what makes me think that its hard is sometimes you can never say those things you wish to say. First and foremost because they are your/my friends. And then because you know each other well, it's hard for you to be so self-centered and inconsiderate. No matter how hard you tried to please others, you can never satisfy them.
Not just that, I let someone in and ruled my heartdom. I ended up feeling terrible, and lose my focus on important task. I feel so lonely. Feeling like a stranger all the time. I really need help with this but too bad I kept thinking too much. And those things that I've been thinking about are negative stuffs. I took things seriously and spent those sleepless nights crying in my room. See, I'm blogging craps. Nobody wants to know about this.
And now what upsets me the most is my English is uber terrible. I'm really not happy with it. I know the key to good English is to read a lot and I haven't been reading for a long time. I almost forgot the scent of the bookstore. I used to love the bookstore a lot. I miss it a lot. I miss doing things that I didn't do any longer.
I miss having free time , I miss going out , I miss hanging out , I miss karaoke , I miss movie marathon , I miss Ipoh , I miss having good friends , I miss being noticed , I miss being loved by all .
Semester 4, you gave me trouble. You put me in a lot of misery and sadness. I just can not forget everything you did to me. Those are memories that will stay for a long time, but I am not happy about everything that happened.
With such result I get at the end of the semester, it's not what I expected. I thought I'm going to nail Research & Methodologies, but I didn't manage to even get a B. I'm terribly sad. Felt sorry for myself , I'm such a loser.