Saturday, March 26, 2011
Irritated by ....
I'm still in Ipoh , and the other day , during her last visit , he left her comic at my other home , the one in Shah Alam . Totally forgot about it , til he text me . I'm still not in my best mood to see him , I'm still mad about the things that he did . I know that I shouldnt be mad for long , but you know , I've change . I want to be a better person , and to be a better person , you got to make a move , leave everything that could stop you or make you change your mind and so , behind . So thats what I did , I left everything behind .
I feel so good , I dont have to keep lying , I dont have to keep committing sin , I dont have to do anything wrong or illegal anymore .
I know that it's mean for me to say this , but you know , I think I know why we happen to see each other like most of the time . I was bored and you were there . It's like I'm a 5years old kid , and I'm really sick of my toys at home , so I went out to the park to play , and when I'm done playing , I'll go back and play with the toys I have at home . Same goes to our situation . I was bored and stupid , and you were there , at the wrong place and time . I am terribly sorry for playing with your feelings , call me a bitch , I just dont care . It's just a word , it wont hurt me as much as I did to you .
This might hurt you a little , but you need to know .
First and foremost , you know the guy I told you , that I said he was my bff , the one who I kept my and his photo in my purse and handphone , he wasn't just a friend of mine . He was more than just a normal friend , best boyfriend . The guy I hang out with on your last paper of SPM . I am truly sorry he wasnt just a friend . He was one of my sweetheart . He's more important than you . If you still remember , I begged for you to celebrate my birthday together with my other friends , I wasnt begging for real , I wanted him to come , like so badly . My bad that I couldnt arrange my time wisely . I have to go out with you , with her , with him and him . I have to see 4 "love-of-my-life" , on the same day . And I ran out of time . But in the end , I managed to spent 20minutes with you , an hour with him , One and a half hour with her and a couple hours with him .
Thats not all ,
The day I said Im goin back to school with my classmates , movie with them and then go to my friend's party . It was another lie as well . I wasnt with my classmates all day long , he was there with me . I went to school with my classmates , movie with him and one of my friend , pre-dinner , and we hang out at my friend's house playing Xbox . We were together all day long , he was the one who sent me back . And I told you I slept early right , actually I was on the phone with him .
Few days after that ,
The night I cried badly , it wasnt because of the movie I watch on the tele , it was because of him .
Too bad for you , Im sorry .
There's more ,
After he went away , I kept on lying to you , I got closer to this one guy . He was my ex-es friend's . We've never went on a real date , but goin on a date with a guy that could treat me as good as him isnt important . You called me everynight , but he went online with me everysinglehour . He was the perfect guy , he's very nice . He said nothing but only the nicest thing that I'd like to hear .
And and , I just dont like you anymore now . Im glad that I had put a fullstop to us. So I hope that you could do the same thing too . Im not thinking about you anymore . You dont come in my dreams , this is mean , but the is for real , facts . I made a mistake , one of it is you . We can be friends til the day I die , only if you promise that you wont drool over me , Im not that yummy , you cant eat me . Im not chicken or beef . I bet you are not batak , so please get over me . And and If I dont want to get over somebody else , its my wish okayy . And and If I want to go on a date with some other guy , it is also my wish . You have no right to butt in , feel sad or whatever . I just dont like you anymore , so please dont treat me as if Im still your girlfriend , because I really feel irritated .
Thank you . Sorry , have a good life :)