Monday, March 15, 2010


I felt sorry for myslf, my parents, my family. Promised them I would do my very best, I will excell this time, but I didnt. I dissapoint them .
What kinda daughter am I ?

Mom keeps telling me
" I told you to study hard already . God give you 3 chances already . Pray hard so that God will give you the 4th chance. You do know how history is important if you want to apply for law. "

Hello ! I felt dissapointed too . I did my best, I studied but I know I didnt give my very best. I had a hard time that I created on my own, gee how I regret doing and playing around last year. I know everything it just tooooooo little late. I cant turn back time and change my grade or try to be better than I used to be.

I dont want to make plans to make plans. I dont want to change faculty the other day, I want to get into faculty of law right away. I dont want to do foundation in english then get 3.5 pointer and above and appeal to change faculty . No, I dont want that. Im being rebelious now, yes I am. Though I know it wont change a single thing.

Now I feel so jealous when I compare myself to my cousins. I know I know "who ever asked you to compare yourself with them ? " Dont tell me that shit because I know. I dont want to think of it, but I felt so stupid and jealous when my aunties and relatives kept on saying "woww" this and that. Its killing me .

They act like theyre so confused now, " what to choose what to do what to apply where to go " . Please stop acting and pretending, I tried hard to get an "A" or "B" would be great enough for history. But I got "C" , how bloody bastard is that?

* to be continue

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