I think I know now

Being with somebody for so many years , without any relation doesn't guarantee you that he/she is going to be yours . You may think that he/she will , only time decide , but actually you're pretty sure that you're saying that just because you want to feel good . And that's good , for a short period , bad for a long term . When things between the both of you didnt work well because of that person , you'll feel crush . And hard for you to get up , because your hope is crushed . 

Im feeling that crushed feeling now . But we were once closed, we were once together, we were once separated by miles, we were once separated by your desire, we were once separated by fate, we are now separating by time and distance . You're no longer 14, 473 kilometres far from me , we're much nearer but I dont know what made us change. Wait , not us . It's you . I try as hard as I could , I try not to change too much . But it's your fault this time . I know your desire to make it work , I know , I simply know . But , I couldn't find any answer to all my question . 

I miss you , but you don't miss me that much now . I'm so eager to meet you , to see you again , but you ? I just dont want to talk about you anymore ? I am jealous . I'm letting you know now . I never tell you this , so Im telling you now . I am jealous . And I dont like it . I know they are your friends , but you never tell me about them . As if you're giving me clues about who I really am to you . 

I cant stop thinking , mom cant stop asking . She's so curious about us , dont blame her , because I'm curious too . I miss you , I still have feelings for you , I still love you  . It's almost three years now , wait ! No it's four . FOUR years . And I still feel the same about you . Never changed , not a bit . I still love you as much as I do on the day you said hello . On the day our eyes met . On the day I saw you making your signature move . On the day I saw you smile . On the day I saw you mad at me . On the day we started to be friends . On the day my heart said , this is for real . 

iloveyou