Saturday, June 5, 2010

The thing is , can I be tame

While Miley Cyrus cant be tamed, I suddenly can. Which is pretty geeky and weird . Its a good thing to others but a drug to me . Because its something hurtful and killing . Im doing and following and shutting my mouth . For this once . For the things I really want so badly .

Its not that I dont want those like how I want it bad before , its just Im sick of begging and asking . Its a heartbreak to know that Im not applicable to be in the government university . Its not about the money thing . Its about pride this time . You got your place in the government university means youre really good and EXCELLENT ! And I can have whatever I want FOR SURE ! I wasnt that upset at first because I know I have a choice . But now I dont feel like going to the private college, because Im losing few perks from going to the local government university . For example , my own lappie and few bucks from relatives .

I envy my sister so much . I have to admit this . Because she went to UITM , a local government university . This university is freakin popular. Its all over in Malaysia , and recognised by all . It means its reallly really really good. However she didnt got in naturally , my aunt helped her in .
Dad had asked her to helped me , but I insist . First and foremost , its a real bad thing to get in with people's help . Im so embarassed if I were in because of that . Because its so obvious that I wasnt supposed to be there, but I was . With helped ! And its super unfair to others. They might have kick off somebody else, who deserve to be in more than I do .
Second, is because its definitely not for me. I dont even fu*kin know what is DIPLOMA in INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY . I dont do things I dislike . Its my future , so its my right to decide . Dont you think that its absurd to things beyond your interest and what you wish you would be ?

Okay Im still upset because of the moving stuff and I cant say a word . I just cant because nobody will listen to me . I dont have anything , so nobody look up to me , and listen to me . I dont have big cars, its not about the size, I dont have any . No money , house , assets , not even a certificate to be proud of . So, why would they listen to me ? *what a heartbreaking statement! *

In conclusion, I can be tame for no right reason at the most wrong time .

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