insane

Im all crazy now.
Ive been looking at maps every single day, even my mom thought I was super sick.
She wanted to take me to the Doctor and get me medicine.
I wonder if those medicine really could cure my illness.
I think it couldnt be treated.
Not by medication of course, not even meditation or self-motivation.
I dont know why, but it hurts so much.
The hole punched by someone is getting bigger each day.
I really need it to stop, cause I can hardly breathe and get normal.
Ive been googling all day long, googling for nothing that really matters.
Nothing that would make me feel better, well mainly because I can never feel better now.
Nothing could make me feel better except for my own version of Edward Cullen.
I wanted to be closer to Edward, I kept listening to the Lullaby, which really reminds me of him.
Looking at the photo of us, and remembering the very word you like.
I must say that Im pretty tired of going through all this while youre so happy with your current life, as if you were REBORN.
Or maybe its just me who never really think of you.

Whatever it is, Im going mad now