Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Its almost 24 hours now, since the last time he called.
And Im still wondering why do I feel obnoxiously sad, well I should be happy I bet.
I gave him support and motivation last time, but I end up crying, and feeling unmotivated.
Do I need to be motivate too ? I would say it would R I D I C U L O U S !
I thought I would be fine, so I waited for hours,
Hoping that he would call me back like he said,
Because the minute I got the chance to talked to him, he was effin busy,
Like some kind of superstar and I heard the sound of flashes,
here and there,
And Im not sure if Ive started to be deaf,
Its him, who lose his voice,
he was at the centre of strangers to me,
Not knowing who they were,
does bother me, in a way or two.
How hopeless and dopeless am I ?
Very ?
I didnt really say things I wanted to say for ages,
Ive been practising for a long time, but didnt do it when I got the chance,
and now, Ive lose the chance,
maybe for forever, who knew.
Things will be super different,
Well, for a super chicken human like me,
my tears drop,
a lot,
counting the minutes left before he finally leaves,
He will be back, for sure,
but the question is, Will he be the same person before he step into the new world of strangers ?
I am still wondering ,
and thinking,
and getting so hopeless now.
I shouldnt let my fear gets the crown,
but tears let me down somehow,
Wanted to stop crying,
so bad,
but its so hard,
harder than trying to study the subject you hate the most,
harder than trying to eat something you dislike like vege,
harder than trying to pretend to smile, even when youre unhappy, well thats easy actually.
harder than trying to breath when youve already lost your soul.
Well thats how I felt, when I started trying.
And it has been 24 hours now, 10:06pm.

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